As a husband and father, there are lots of things that I do well. Sadly, none of those things make for entertaining reading. Fortunately for me (and my loyal readers), I’ve got a lot of material on the other side of the coin.
In most cases, my memory is flawless. Need a quote from Seinfeld? Give me a ring. Wonder how many home runs Mickey Mantle hit? I’m your man. And if that’s not enough, birthdays and anniversaries seem to stick in my head like post-it notes.
All that being said, my mind sometimes wanders in crucial situations. Just last week, for example, we packed all the kids into the Odyssey to ready for a trip to grandma and grandpa’s. Realizing I had forgotten Baby Kate’s bottle, I got out of the car, unlocked the house, turned off the alarm, went in the house, closed the door behind me, reset the alarm, went back outside, locked the door, got in the car, and drove the family to Culver City. It wasn’t until we had driven about twenty miles that I remembered why I had gone back in the house -- I had forgotten the baby’s bottle.
Ah, but we’re just scratching the surface here. Perhaps the biggest hole in my Swiss cheese brain reveals itself when we’re shopping. When I cross the threshold into Costco, it’s as if I leave all sense at the door. Do we need toilet paper? Laundry detergent? Napkins? I have no idea.
I hear what you’re saying. Everyone has these issues, right? We’re all lost without a grocery list, aren’t we? Maybe. But let me tell you about our honey situation; I’ll let you decide.
I love honey. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.) Honey on a biscuit is nice, but if you’ve never had a peanut butter and honey sandwich, you’re missing out on the sweetest lunch imaginable. (Here’s a story about bees and the best PB and H sandwich I’ve ever had.)
But back to our story. As we walked down the condiments aisle in Costco a few weeks ago, I assured Leslie that we were out of honey. We needed more. The problem with Costco, of course, is that you can’t buy just one of anything, and so it is with honey. I set a three-pack into the cart and we turned into the next aisle.
When we got home with our honey and the rest of our groceries, guess what? Three more bottles of honey waiting in the cupboard. Like any loving wife, Leslie was incredibly understanding. Or at least she seemed so while she was mocking me mercilessly. “We need honey,” she mocked. And when we passed the honey on subsequent Costco trips, she never failed to ask me if we needed any more. If I heard it once, I heard it 536 times. She’s thoughtful like that.
Cut to this morning. I’m getting breakfast for the kids when I look into a deep corner of the cupboard in search of some syrup for Henry’s waffles. And what do you suppose I find? Two more bottles of honey! Obviously, I need to be stopped. Or at the very least, I need to start making grocery lists.
(Click the picture for the full-sized image.)
First we need to make a useful grocery list - that means as long as we remember what we need. Then we have to remember to take it to the store ...
:-)
At least honey has long shelf life in the pantry. Maybe this is what you need-
mobile shopping list
Posted by: GrocerySurf | May 28, 2007 at 11:04 AM
The ultimate Honey-do's
Posted by: Hygiene Dad | May 28, 2007 at 06:27 PM
Wow, that's like a ten-year supply of honey! I'm like that too. Either I come home from the store without having bought what I need, or I forget that we already have it and buy another. Once I even typed up a big master grocery list, so I could just highlight what we needed that week. . .but I forget to use it.
Posted by: Rachel | May 29, 2007 at 07:01 AM
http://daddy.typepad.com/daddyblog/2007/04/robert_and_rob_.html
From one dad to another I can not understand why the “Blog fathers” are not covering this incredible father story. I have written them all before and still to blog coverage. If the Blog Fathers are blogging for fathers this is something that is happening to a ton of fathers. Huge Blogs like Crooks and Liars have covered this story! Please cover. Thanks
Robert Pedersen
Posted by: Robert and Angela Pedersen | May 30, 2007 at 11:53 AM
First, I see that the Pedersens have gotten to you too.
Second, at least two of those bottles aren't organic so you can be forgiven of those.
Posted by: Matthew | June 02, 2007 at 10:28 AM
Oh my. "none of those things make for entertaining reading" -- are you sure? Let the readers decide! :)
I've been known to buy an extra thing or two when I wasn't sure if we were out, but man you had 5 honey containers you forgot about ;)
Posted by: KC | June 03, 2007 at 08:13 AM
Just wanted to say how much I enjoy reading your blog. I'm new to dad-blogging but it seems that there's quite a nifty community of us around. Keep posting ... and playing!
Posted by: Jason Goroncy | June 20, 2007 at 05:56 AM
Since we stopped frying food and only use the skillet for browning or sautéing food, I've been on a cooking spray binge. I keep thinking we're out and every time I come back from the store. My husband finally told me that I am not to buy another can of cooking spray until he specifically adds it to the list.
I took a picture of my cooking spray next to a bottle of honey.
http://img503.imageshack.us/img503/9207/cookingsprayzk9.jpg
Posted by: ThatDeborahGirl | July 22, 2007 at 06:16 PM
at least you're buying consistently. (*i am so anal retentive i have an excel spreadsheet for grocery shopping . . . i need help.)
visiting from cry it out . . .
Posted by: Angie in Texas | September 23, 2007 at 07:26 PM
Great website. Are you trying to play with my close current I have a good fresh joke for you! What has more lives than a cat? A frog. It croaks every night.
Posted by: Hepsypaps | November 07, 2008 at 12:13 AM