I don't remember exactly how things were when Alison was this age, but with Henry there is one rule that supercedes all others: if you can't hear him, you've got trouble.
This evening after dinner Henry scurried off to the bathroom on his own, which is always nice. One of his favorite things to do is wash his hands, because to him "washing hands" means "playing with water in the sink." We usually give him a few minutes before pulling him out, but sometimes we forget. Today, we forgot.
After about five minutes I realized that Henry was still missing. He came quickly when called, which was strange. Even stranger was that he came straight to us with a confession.
"My underwear is gone."
"What? Where?"
"My underwear is gone in the potty."
I panicked as I remembered that the toilet had just flushed, and realized that he has seen me wash out his poopy underwear in the toilet dozens of times. I had a brief mental image of Henry washing out his underwear while singing "Cat's in the Cradle." (I'm gonna be just like you, Dad, I'm gonna be just like you...") But when I pulled down the waistband of his shorts I was relieved to see that his underwear was on.
Sensing my relief, Henry immediately explained.
"No, Daddy. My other underwear."
And then I remembered... When I had put Henry down for his afternoon nap (a nap which he didn't take, by the way), I had noticed that his clothes were wet from -- guess what? -- playing with water. I had changed him and left his pants and underwear in the bathtub to dry.
I shot off the couch and ran to the bathroom. No underwear.
"Henry, where did you put your underwear?!?"
"In the potty." He pointed into the toilet. "It went down there."
The water in the toilet was calm, clear, and completely free of underwear. Henry, to his credit, seemed at least a little bit concerned.
"Is my underwear all gone, Daddy?"
"Yes, Henry. It's all gone."
I flushed the toilet, just to make sure that it still worked. Somehow, it did. I shook my head as I ushered him back out of the bathroom, thankful that he had chosen the underwear instead of the pants.
Hysterical Post. Yes, the many joys of parenthood.
Posted by: Hygiene Dad | August 17, 2006 at 05:29 AM
Ha! And you're right, it's always dangerous when it's really quiet in the house.
Posted by: weigooksaram | August 17, 2006 at 04:24 PM
we totally go running when things get quiet. it always means something is up with the boy. (he's 2) he is only quiet when he is getting into things he shouldnt be. otherwise he is loud and noisy and banging everything into everything else. hopefully you wont have pipe problems in 20 years b/c there are underwear in the plumbing!!
Posted by: kristied | August 17, 2006 at 07:45 PM
Awesome post. I'm amazed the damn thing flushed too.
Posted by: The Zero Boss | August 17, 2006 at 10:19 PM
I love hearing these stories. :)
Posted by: Sassy | August 18, 2006 at 05:38 PM
What a funny story (well, at least it is now). Thank goodness your toilet still works!
Posted by: dawn | August 19, 2006 at 12:36 PM
I hope they are gone for good ...
Posted by: David | August 21, 2006 at 02:56 AM
hope they don't ocme back to bite you in the....butt!
Posted by: jes | August 21, 2006 at 05:05 AM
I'm really worried about your plumbing. In four months when all your drains back up some plumber is going to snake out a pair of Bob The Builder underpants and be completely confused.
Posted by: Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah | August 24, 2006 at 08:20 AM