First of all, relax. I don't own a shotgun, live in a trailerpark, or fly the Confederate flag from the back of my pick-up. Truth be told, I've never touched a gun, and I couldn't be more in favor of gun control. So why do I call myself a Shotgun Daddy? Here's a quick story.
When my daughter Alison was born five years ago, my life changed forever, but not just because of all the things you usually hear about -- midnight feedings, constant diaper changes, unconditional love, new tax write-off, etc. Sure, we had all that, but within months it quickly became clear that Alison was the most beautiful little girl imaginable.
Whenever we took her out in public -- to the doctor, to visit friends, to a restaurant, even to the mall -- people stopped to tell us how adorable she was. As new parents we were quite flattered, but deep down I wondered, aren't all babies adorable?
At about six months, things started to change. Suddenly these compliments seemed more sincere. "No, really, your daughter is gorgeous." Frequently we heard things like, "You know, people always say that babies are beautiful, but your baby is stunning."
Once we were sitting in a restaurant across from tough-looking biker with a long beard and two massive, tattoo-splashed arms. He kept looking our way throughout the meal, and then finally said, "I'm sorry to interrupt your dinner, but I just have to tell you that your daughter is the most beautiful baby I've ever seen." (It's not just my daughter, by the way. After our son Henry was born two years later, friends of friends referred to us as "the family with the beautiful children.")
All of that is nice -- what father doesn't like to hear good things about his children? -- but soon we started hearing something else. It usually came out the same way. The person, often times a complete stranger, would look at my daughter, then look at me, then look at my daughter again before finally turning back to me with a look of pure pity in his eyes. In time, I'd know what was coming before hearing the words: "You're gonna have to get a shotgun."
I've heard it now dozens of times, and each time I nod my head in somber agreement as I think of the parade of boys who will be calling, instant messaging, and e-mailing in years to come. I think of the sixteen-year-olds who will pull up to the curb in convertible Mustangs, and I begin to rethink my gun control stance. I see eyeliner embargoes, piercing pacts, and tattoo treaties. I get visions of treacherous mini-skirts and flirtatious smiles, and I wonder why my little girl can't be forever five years old.
All of this flashes through my mind in an instant before I respond to the shotgun question.
"You're right, I probably will."
And so it is that I am the Shotgun Daddy. But don't worry. While I plan on writing about the true-to-life adventures of two parents and their three children, I don't plan on boring you with their beauty all the time. That's just the story behind the name. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to make a quick run to WalMart. I'm getting a bit low on shotgun shells.
Querido
So glad you now have a daddy blog....this should be so much fun to read!!!
I've long forgotten about our tattoed pal. At least he didn't confess that our baby was "breathtaking" a la Seinfeld. Cuz, you know, I would have laffed!
Posted by: SweetiePie | July 03, 2005 at 10:19 PM
Hi!
Great story! I am really looking forward for more. Hope you will keep posting until the first of your enemies cross your door!
Keep going & good luck with your family,
Norman
Posted by: Norman Hilbert | July 03, 2005 at 10:51 PM
I know the feeling as I have the two most beautiful girls in the entire world and I am sure the boys will come...but they will fall fast and hard when they learn that my brother is a 3rd degree black belt in Aikido. Yeah, I know, I know. He lives in Pennsylvania. But, hopefully by then air travel will be cheaper and quicker. Oh, by the way, guns4dads.com offers layaways and doesn't require the 15 day waiting period!! Just in case...
Posted by: Brent | July 11, 2005 at 10:01 AM
Hi Hank - I come by way of Leslie's blog. I've seen pictures of your kids and you better rename your blog "AK-47 Daddy" because they're absolutely beautiful.
Posted by: anne | July 12, 2005 at 06:21 PM
Maybe if we all go in together, we can get a group discount!
Posted by: Peter Flaschner | July 29, 2005 at 01:59 PM
Hey, just stumbled over here and I love it. Always looking for cool sites. Yours looks great. Looking forward to reading more.
Posted by: MetroDad | August 18, 2005 at 05:59 AM
Ho Ho Ho! I have been saying that exact thing for lo these last 23 years. My oldest daughter Michelle is a gorgeous 22 and my baby daughter, Christina is 19.
I can't believe I survived. But I did. No grandkids, no drama. It is possible - so good luck. One way I think it worked was I was completely honest with my kids. I used myself and my family and friends as object lessons. Painful and embarassing sometimes but in the end - worth it.
A strong faith in God helped us all, as well.
My heart goes out to you. God Bless all of you.
Antonio
Posted by: Antonio Huggins | October 25, 2005 at 02:37 PM
Must make you proud!
Posted by: shotshells | November 07, 2005 at 12:34 AM
Wonderful site! I've been trying to find 'daddy' blogs that are actually about children and fatherhood, and this is fantastic!
I've added you to my blogroll - stop by for a visit sometime!
Jared
Posted by: Jared | November 18, 2005 at 06:22 AM
I have 2 DD and I am loving reading this blog (outloud to DH!)
Posted by: Kel | February 08, 2006 at 08:16 PM
Hello There You Cool Dad Blogger You!
I wanted to let you know that your blog is being featured on a list of the Best of Dad Blogs on the Internet. You can see it, vote on it, send your friends to vote on it, leave comments for what your blog is about and even win an award for it if it is in top 3 blogs each month. So come visit and send all your friends!
Here is where YOU are a star!
http://best.dadblogs.ever.com
Think someone else deserves to be on the top list? Add them while your there!
Have a dynamite day!
Tammy Dickinson
Honoring The Best Blogging Dads EVER!
Blogging Mom and Proud Parent
Posted by: Tammy Dickinson | December 28, 2007 at 10:04 PM
My name is Matt and we produce an online video show called DadLabs which is all being a dad from a dads perspective.
The show is at www.dadlabs.com and we put out 4 videos a week ranging from reviews to a lounge, lab and entertainment video.
Your Shot Gun Daddy blog is great and I was hoping you would check out our show and let your readers know about us -- your blog talks about many similar topics as DadLabs.
Let me know what you think.
Thanks!
Matt
Posted by: Matt | January 11, 2008 at 09:07 AM
Hello shotgun daddy! I recently stumbled on your blogs when googling something. I'm glad i googled. This website is actually something that really makes my day reading. This really is an amazing blog. Thank you for being awesome!
Posted by: Myah santorini | March 30, 2010 at 12:56 PM