We always had pets as I was growing up, mainly cats, and I have vague memories of their passing. I'm sure I was sad at the time, but if I were an oak tree and you were to cut me open and look at the rings on my trunk, you'd see no evidence of trauma. Those deaths didn't stay with me.
I had a dog, though. Every boy should have a dog. We found Max at the pound during the spring of my sixth grade year, and he was my best friend for the next decade of my life. I was in my mid-20s when he died, and I'll never forget saying goodbye to him. He had passed during the night at a kennel, so when I saw him the next morning he was stretched out on a metal table in a sterile examination room. I bent over and brushed my face against his fur one last time and whispered into his ear, "I hope I have a son one day, and I hope that he has a dog who's as good a friend as you were to me." I took his collar from his neck and slipped it into my pocket. Fifteen years later, the collar hangs on a nail in my garage, and the scar on my heart still hasn't healed.
This is how it is with children and their pets. The death of a hamster or goldfish or parakeet can be just as traumatic as the passing of a blood relative, or even more so. Knowing this, we've always hesitated to bring animals into our home. We've avoided the goldfish offered as "prizes" at elementary school carnivals and resisted the constant cries for a dog, but loyal readers will remember that last summer we allowed Alison to raise some tadpoles. Two of the tadpoles actually became bullfrogs, but after one jumped out of the tank, only one remained -- Kirby.
Kirby died on Wednesday night.
The details aren't important, except to say that frogs -- like hamsters and goldfish and parakeets -- sometimes just die. Alison was already asleep when we discovered him, so we chose to hide the truth until Thursday after school. I asked her to sit next to me on the couch, and I told her quickly before she could wonder what was happening.
"Your frog died last night."
Those simple words brought the world crashing down around us as she immediately began crying. She never asked why or how, probably because those details didn't matter to her. Her frog was gone.
She slid from my arms into Leslie's, and I noticed that her socks had frogs on them.
Because things don't always go exactly as planned, Kate wandered out and was immediately worried when she saw her older sister sobbing in her mother's arms.
"What's wrong with Allie?"
"Her frog died last night."
"He's not coming back to life?"
"No."
She gave Alison a little rub on her back, and then ran to her room, returning almost immediately with a stuffed frog.
"This is my frog!" And then she started hopping around the room and ribbet-ing as her sister continued crying. Perhaps not the most sympathetic gesture ever.
Alison decided she wanted to bury him, so we slipped Kirby into a perfectly sized cardboard box coffin and headed out to the flower bed in the front yard. As the entire family gathered around, I dug a small hole and Alison gently deposited her friend into the ground. I said something about what a good frog Kirby had been, and then explained that at funerals the loved ones usually put the first few shovels of dirt back into the grave. Alison took the trowel and pushed a bit of soil onto the box, but quickly gave in to the tears and asked me to finish. I fully expect to see a red fern growing there in the spring.
But things brightened after the funeral. When we came back in the house, we asked Alison if she thought she might like to get another frog. Twenty minutes later we were at the pet shop, peering into terrariums at frogs of all shapes, sizes, and colors. She chose two, a green tree frog and a grey tree frog, and the new additions have definitely filled the hole in her heart. She named them Sticky and Jumpy.
In the span of an hour or so, we saw the beauty of being nine years old. At five o'clock her world was shattered, and we were powerless to put the pieces back together. By 6:30 Alison had fallen in love all over again. Who needs a prince when you've got a frog or two hopping around?
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