Work Like You Don't Need the Money

You've seen the list. Maybe you noticed it on a co-worker's coffee mug. Maybe it was in an unwanted e-mail, sent by that person you know who conscientiously forwards every "cute" or "hilarious" or "tear-jerking" e-mail that you might have missed. Or perhaps someone you know actually quoted a line or two to you, and you started to laugh for a second before you realized that this person was not making a joke.

If, however, you've been lucky enough to miss these immortal words of wisdom, please allow me to introduce you to the biggest bunch of nonsense perpetrated on the free world since the Iraqi weapons of mass destruction:

Work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt, sing like no one is listening, and dance like nobody's watching.

Okay, let's go bottom to top. I guess the idea is that you do your best dancing in the privacy of your bedroom when no one is watching, so you should bring that love out into the open and you'll be the hit of the party. But you know what? I do my best dancing when everyone's watching someone else. If I broke out the bedroom moves, the party would come to a grinding halt as those in attendance stared in horror.

The same logic follows with the next one -- sing like no one is listening. Shouldn't we consider the audience just a little bit? If I'm cruising down the 405 in an empty car listening to AC/DC, you can bet that the volume will be cranked and I'll be singing about American thighs with all I've got, whether I know the words or not. But since I'm a teacher, and not a rock star, I don't subject others to this. Wouldn't be prudent.

Love like you've never been hurt. Okay, this one sounds nice -- don't hold anything back, give yourself completely, surrender to the beauty of love. I get it. But would you ever tell someone to sleep like you've never been tired? How can appreciate the good love if you've never felt the sting of the bad love?

All of which brings us back to the top: work like you don't need the money. This is absolutely stupid. You want me to work like I don't need the money? Sure, but hang on a second while I drink like I'm not thirsty. Are you kidding me? Wouldn't you work a bit harder if you needed the money?

I've been on vacation for the past four weeks, and I can promise you one thing: if I didn't need the money, I would not be going back to work today. Don't get me wrong, I love my job and I love my students, but I don't love all that as much as I love taking Henry to lunch, picking up Alison from school, and secretly watching Kate sleeping in her crib.

So Monday promises to be a difficult day, since I'm not entirely sure what my lesson will look like and I'll be missing my wife and children, but don't feel sorry for me. There will be whining children, but I can send them to the office if I want; there will be arguments, but I'll be able to silence them with the threat of detention; and I certainly won't have to change any diapers. So I've got that going for me, which is nice.

Don't worry, though. When the going gets tough, I'll think back to these timeless words:

Work like you owe money to a guy named Mickey the Wrench,
Love like you've never been tired,
Sing like you actually know the words, and
Dance like you don't want people pointing and laughing.

Quick now. Cut and paste those into an e-mail and send it to all your friends, even the annoying ones. The world will be a better place.

Comments

[Leslie]

Very, very funny!!!

I had to laugh yesterday when I saw these blurbs on a mug!!!

[weigooksaram]

That's really funny. I especially like the "dance like you don't want people pointing and laughing" line. You should make your own t-shirts.

[Nuralhuda]

Hahaha. that made my day. thanks :D

[Kurt Schroeder]

I think you would find humor in the following re-examinations of famous sayings:

http://www.errolmorris.com/content/reexaminations/reexaminations1.html

[Alisi]

Dance like you don't need money,

Love like nobody's listening;

Sing like it's heaven on earth.

Live like nobody's watching;

Work like you've never been hurt.

[Alisi]

haha, so good. We plan to print it and put on the back of the bathroom door. Like what the fuck do you neef insperational thoughts for at a time like that.

[Mike]

I think you missed the point there dude... the quote is supposed to deal with 'imagination' and not 'logic'... that's why neither the quote itself nor your explanation make any sense...

[Angela]

Sorry to burst your bubble....I'm working like i don't need the money, although i do earn it. I cant believe I get paid for what I do...I love my career so much!...one day my career was my hobby.... now i get paid for doing my hobby =)
- Hairdresser.